If you missed out on Bennington College’s production of The Vagina Monologues, this is the piece I wrote which was part of the student monologue showcase:

Sonnet #11- Full Moon Song

(MILDRED enters the stage. MILDRED is very nerdy, wearing far too many scarves, and glasses that are waaay too big for her face. The effect is that her eyeballs seem to resemble those of a flying squirrel. She is also repressing some sort of cold, with little success.)

MILDRED

Hi everyone, my name is Mildred; I’m going to read this vagina monologue that I wrote. It’s not really a vagina monologue though, because no one interviewed me about my vagina. But, it’s about an important vagina-related subject that hasn’t been talked about yet, I don’t think. So I wrote this sonnet about that. It’s also a sonnet, not a monologue. I hope that’s ok. Yeah, I…um, I wrote this sonnet. I’m gonna read it now.

(MILDRED sprays some medicine into her nose; she gives the appearance of starting, but then….)

Oh wait! My name is Mildred, incase I forgot to tell you that, that’s my name. I’m Mildred, hi.

(MILDRED takes a deep breath and reads with the sudden and unexplainable swag of an experienced beat-poet)

Surprise! I’m early! Sorry I forgot to call

I’M BLEEDING FROM MY FUCKING VAGINA!

said the Swim Team Captain to the Swim Team Coach as she left the Swim Team swimming in the Swimming Pool

Then she went home and tried to beat-up her vagina,

but aspirins make good boxing gloves only some of the times

bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody underwear

Eeew! That’s gross!

Shhhhhh! You’re not supposed to talk about that!

Only fucking and emotions and fucking and food and God and fucking and fair youths and fucking and fucking and fucking and sex

Nobody writes about my Bloody underwear!

Blackness. Nothing. No thing. Disgusting!

Period Sonnets should be a thing (a thing?)

SHHHHHH! You aren’t supposed to talk about that

Nobody talks about that